By: Amna Ali
Taboo is any activity or custom that is sacred or forbidden based on moral judgment, religious beliefs, or cultural norms. These are sensitive topics that need to be dealt with carefully or with some privacy (this is what our society believes) because topics such as divorce, mental health, domestic violence, child abuse, and sexual education make people feel uneasy, they fear being judged by society. And will also not prefer to get into a heated discussion. Therefore, breaking a taboo is usually seen as objectionable by our society.
Now there are several taboos that society does not want to discuss, but why is ‘Divorce’ considered taboo?
Divorce rates have risen immensely across different countries. Rates in Pakistan are also high, yet it is still considered taboo. According to a 2019 survey, 58% of Pakistanis believed that divorce rates have increased. And 2 out of 5 respondents assumed that a couple’s in-laws were responsible for most of these cases.
However, if someone gets divorced, the whole society accuses the divorced woman with comments like; “zaroor issi ne Kuch kiya ho ga”, “Suna hai iss ka Kisi aur k saath chakkar tha issi liye talaaq Hui”. And the list of such inappropriate statements goes on and on. Even if the husband was the actual problem in a marriage, it is still the wife who gets blamed for getting or taking a divorce. Recently, 500 divorce cases have been filed in Lahore by women who married men of their own choice. And the reasons were all the same, citing domestic conflicts.
According to our Islamic teachings and knowledge, divorce is one of the least likable things in Islam and is also considered the last option between spouses. And maybe this is one of the reasons why our society considers divorce taboo. Women are supposed to bear violence and disloyalty, all in the name of honor (khandaan ki izzat). But a miserable life only causes more problems. My point here is that everyone deserves a second chance in life. If couples are unhappy with their marriage, they are allowed to part ways, and this is not a terrible thing because it’s better to be single than to be in a toxic relationship.
Society needs to understand that divorce is common. And we can talk about it without being hesitant because having a conversation on such an important topic will surely sort things out and could save lives too. People must realize that the reason behind divorce is not always one of the partners having a bad character, domestic violence, or cheating. The separation between married couples can also occur due to a lack of understanding, less or no affection for each other, and even forced marriage, yet the society is still telling young girls and women to keep their mouths shut because, “log kya Kahen gay?”
Our cultural perception needs to be changed. Most of the taboos present in Pakistan today come from decades of false narratives and misconceptions. Society’s naiveness and a lack of acceptance of these issues create a foreboding sense for those who want to voice their concerns.
Now how can we change these perceptions? I believe if the youth starts guiding people through peaceful protests, and appropriate social media campaigns, we will be able to abolish these taboos from Pakistani society and culture in no time.
According to our Islamic teachings and knowledge, divorce is one of the least likable things in Islam and is also considered the last option between spouses. And maybe this is one of the reasons why our society considers divorce taboo. Women are supposed to bear violence and disloyalty, all in the name of honor (khandaan ki izzat). But a miserable life only causes more problems. My point here is that everyone deserves a second chance in life. If couples are unhappy with their marriage, they are allowed to part ways, and this is not a terrible thing because it’s better to be single than to be in a toxic relationship.
Society needs to understand that divorce is common. And we can talk about it without being hesitant because having a conversation on such an important topic will surely sort things out and could save lives too. People must realize that the reason behind divorce is not always one of the partners having a bad character, domestic violence, or cheating. The separation between married couples can also occur due to a lack of understanding, less or no affection for each other, and even forced marriage, yet the society is still telling young girls and women to keep their mouths shut because, “log kya Kahen gay?”
Our cultural perception needs to be changed. Most of the taboos present in Pakistan today come from decades of false narratives and misconceptions. Society’s naiveness and a lack of acceptance of these issues create a foreboding sense for those who want to voice their concerns.
Now how can we change these perceptions? I believe if the youth starts guiding people through peaceful protests, and appropriate social media campaigns, we will be able to abolish these taboos from Pakistani society and culture in no time.
By: Amna Ali