Honest, level-headed, and constructing communication will help “settle the score” or fix misunderstandings in marriages. Hearts are then healed, and people grow closer together, as opposed to farther apart.
Each divorce in this country has a special story with unique circumstances. Each person is different and a diverse number of experiences bring thousands of couples to their lawyers every year. Every couple says that their circumstances are different. They normally support working together through problems, but these circumstances are the exception to that rule—because they’ve tried just about everything.
From their lawyers’, marriage counselors, or even their therapists’, perspective though, their situation is anything but unique. Certain global factors are prevalent in most divorces that they see every day. Although the various experiences change from couple to couple, these overarching themes are prevalent. One of the greatest of these themes is a breakdown in marriage communication, not differing opinions or annoying habits.
Every marriage has their problems. Every spouse hates at least one or two things that their spouse will do from time-to-time. Every spouse will find themselves expecting things from their spouse that are unfair. Every spouse assumes that the other is taking advantage of them in one way or another.
Relationships aren’t perfect and there will be problems. Communication is the way to work through those problems. This is characterized by listening ears, cooled tempers, and hearing a spouse out. It kicks feelings of defensiveness and selfishness out the door as hearts begin to talk.
Feelings are expressed (on both ends) and they find a safe home in the heart of their spouse, because the spouse wants to fix the problem, not become the “winner.” Trust is often built here—even in some of the most difficult of conversations.
Couples considering divorce as an option have missed out of the blessing of this communication for a good while. Somewhere down the line, it stopped, and people began to be unhappy. They wonder how they could have fallen out of love. They did so by forgetting to care for each other. They forgot to put their spouse’s happiness in front of their own. They forgot to listen to their spouse’s needs, choosing to only care about their own.
In a lot of ways, a breakdown in communication is directly linked to turning their focus inward, to becoming a more selfish person. When they break through selfishness to care about the other person, they begin breaking down the wall keeping the couple from communicating. Communicating is one of the best weapons to win the war against divorce. Practicing true communicating creates a happier marriage.
Unfortunately, the best weapons don’t always work. Both sides must try to communicate or separation becomes unavoidable. Either parties must be willing to come together, or there has been a serious breach of trust. Without that, the marriage becomes undoable for one partner or the other.
- Marriage: Pixabay