4 Secrets to Effective Communication in Marriage

To have effective communication in marriage, talk about small things, address issues immediately in private, listen and give in sometimes to your spouse.

Before reaching a lawyer, there are a few secrets to effective communication in marriage to remedy problems before they start. Communication in marriage is always a difficult matter to effectively handle well, especially when you have lived with someone for years or even decades. It is everlastingly important for a couple to enjoy a happy marriage together. Too often, divorce lawyers see clients that are seeking a split simply because their communication skills have effectively fallen apart.

A good marriage starts with good communication.
A good marriage starts with good communication.

Realize that you need to talk about the issue, even if it seems small and insignificant. Talking about it will relieve the pressure, keeping the relationship open and friendly.

  • First, talk about the small issues. The “ideal” marriage partner is one that knows when to speak up about something and when to keep quiet. They don’t bring up an issue that bothers them because they perceive it to be a small thing. They don’t want to appear oversensitive and keep it inside instead of talking about it. More often than not though, the more of those little things they bottle up, the greater the pressure on their relationship as a whole. Build up too much of it and you’re liable to explode, letting all of the small things out in a tirade of noise and painful words.

  • Realize that you need to talk about the issue, even if it seems small and insignificant. Talking about it will relieve the pressure, keeping the relationship open and friendly. Trust your spouse to handle the information. If it truly isn’t that big of a deal, then don’t blow it out of proportion in the conversation. Adjust the conversation to match the intensity. Oftentimes, you’ll find that just talking about the issue will be enough to resolve it.
  • Second, address the issues immediately. For reasons explained in the first tip, address issues as soon as you can—even when they’re small. Find a private moment to speak with your spouse about it as soon as you can. The longer you wait, the more you’ll convince yourself you don’t need to talk about it.
  • Third, address issues in private and only with your spouse. This next part can’t be stressed enough. Tossing around accusations in front of an audience hurts your spouse and puts them on the defensive. They want to save face in those situations and will fight back—just like you would should they attack you in a similar way. This seriously hurts their trust in you and often makes them less likely to change. It’s the same when you talk about these marital issues with your mother, siblings, co-workers, or anyone else you come in contact with. When you keep issues between yourselves in private, your spouse will take your concerns more seriously and respect your wishes. Expect the same from their behavior and don’t take the bait should they break this rule.
  • Fourth, listen always and give in sometimes. Always be willing to listen to your spouse. A marriage is the joining of two people’s livelihoods. No two people think exactly alike and you two will differ on some aspects. In these moments, you have to be willing to listen to the other. Seriously consider what they’re saying and remove yourself from your emotions a bit to see what their point is. Give their thoughts a fair assessment and hear them out.

Be willing to give in sometimes, even if you’re convinced that you’re right. Successful relationships give and take equally. The couple doesn’t have to be right all the time; they just have to be unified. So listen to what the other is saying and be willing to give in sometimes to encourage unity. You’ll enjoy a much happier relationship.

Try these secrets out again if you’ve forgotten them. They’ll help you return a wavering relationship to one built on mutual communication and a lifetime of  love.

communication in marriage image by of Wikimedia Commons


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